TRANSWOMEN AND THEIR TRXDE: A DEEP DIVE INTO THE MEN TRANSWOMEN DATE

"Trade" has many definitions and one of the most important definitions is "Trade" being used to describe the romantic partners of transwomen. In this context "trade" says a lot without saying much, using the word describe the entire conundrum of feelings to date a transwoman. The complicated feelings stemming from a questioning of sexuality, harmful social stigmas, and misogyny, that ultimately lead to the demise of transwomen. 

Transwomen, like any other woman, date men. They don't just date men, but they usually date masculine men, or trade. However, the trade they date comes with their own problems. In 2021, Koen West and Martha Lucia Borras-Guevara conducted a study to  look into the prejudice that cisgender men show towards transwomen. They found that cisgender men who adhered more to gender norms were more likely to express less positive attitudes to gay people and thus less positive attitudes towards transwomen. Most cisgender men saw transwomen as a subset of gay men and a threat to their heterosexuality. However, the more a transgender woman adhered to traditional gender norms, the more positive the cisgender men viewed them. (West, Keon, and Martha Lucia Borras-Guevara. “When Cisgender, Heterosexual Men Feel Attracted to Transgender Women: Sexuality-Norm Violations Lead to Compensatory Anti-Gay Prejudice.”)

Trade's inherent homophobia is what drives their disdain for the women they love. The less woman-like a transwoman is, the more a trade will associate their relationship with a homosexual one. This forces transwomen to walk a deadly tightrope. Where not performing traditional femininity could be a death sentence. Transwomen face a high rate of gender based violence with 58% of deaths are caused by gender based violence and black transwomen facing an even higher rate of 89%. (Gamarel, Kristi E et al. “Stigma Experienced by Transgender Women of Color in Their Dating and Romantic Relationships: Implications for Gender-based Violence Prevention Programs.”) Black transwomen are more likely to be killed by their trade than by any other disease or social inequity. The saddest part, is that the trade transwomen date seem to be very aware of the power imbalance between cisgender men and transwomen. Gamarel's article highlighted that cisgender men hold several stigmas about transwomen: that they do not have adequate access to healthcare, that they are not financially stable, and that they are meant to be sexually objectified. Id. These prejudices color all their interactions with transwomen and heighten their desire to keep their tumultuous relationship secret. However, this does not deter cisgender men, but actually motivates them to continue the relationship with transwomen, because the power dynamic is in their favor. 

Can transwomen and trade have a positive relationship? Yes, but it is complicated. Deaths of transwomen are still high with the TGEU reporting a decrease in romance-related murders and a significant increase in murders of trans activists and leaders. This is seemingly in direct opposition to the rise in trans activism and resources. With the #Protectthedolls movement reaching large audiences. There is also an increase in digital violence against black transwomen with anti-black trans rhetoric taking up most of the space on social media channels. Our society inherently notices the positive direction of trans rights and is actively fighting by turning public opinion against transwomen in the midst of political decay. These societal pressures ultimately affect the relationship between transwomen and their trade. 

But what if trade unconditionally protected the women they love? In 2025, there are more resources and education for men attracted to trans women, to help them understand that their attraction is not wrong or unnatural. Some m,en have even been bold enough to proclaim their love for transwomen on social media. But trade needs to take it a step further. There needs to be a formation of a community of men that is committed to protecting the women whom they are attracted to. 

Even if it is just an article to tell men, "It's ok TRXDE, protect your woman!" 

Sincerely,

OG TRXDE

Works Cited

West, Keon, and Martha Lucia Borras-Guevara. “When Cisgender, Heterosexual Men Feel Attracted to Transgender Women: Sexuality-Norm Violations Lead to Compensatory Anti-Gay Prejudice.” Journal of homosexuality vol. 69,13 (2022): 2267-2285. doi:10.1080/00918369.2021.1938467. 

Gamarel, Kristi E et al. “Stigma Experienced by Transgender Women of Color in Their Dating and Romantic Relationships: Implications for Gender-based Violence Prevention Programs.” Journal of interpersonal violence vol. 37,9-10 (2022): NP8161-NP8189. doi:10.1177/0886260520976186