THE MALE GAZE: ANDROCENTRISM WITHIN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
Recently, I had a conversation with one of my male friends about the lack of vulnerability within his male friendships. He discussed how he rarely cries in front of his guy friends, which was shocking to hear being that I've cultivated relationships with women around me where we feel safe enough to not only cry, but truly expose the ugliest parts of us. While I've long understood that toxic masculinity hampers the emotional depth men extend to one another, this conversation further reinforced my belief that men are unintentionally stunting their own growth by constantly trying to seem like they have it all together, especially in interactions with other men. This constant pursuit of perfection is heavily attributed to the male-centered norms that society has normalized. While there are constant discussions around male-centered women and the damage of prioritizing men's opinions over their own, we rarely discuss how androcentrism operates within men themselves.
Androcentrism is a sociological practice that refers to “the prioritization of male perspectives, interests, and experiences over those of women” (Hutchinson). In other words, this term reflects the male-centered nature of society, which conditions men and women to perform for male approval. The nature of toxic masculinity often leads men to act “hard” in order to impress other men, whether that manifests as objectifying their partner, suppressing emotional vulnerability, or refusing to ask for help. A Rutgers University Study even found that men are more likely to minimize their medical problems when talking to a male doctor, due to traditional patriarchal beliefs that they should be self-reliant, tough, and emotionally restrained. Psychologists found that “men were more honest with a female doctor, most likely because they felt less pressure to appear tough”(Morin). Despite these findings, men still claimed to prefer talking to male doctors, emphasizing how seeming “tough” is a bigger priority to men than receiving adequate care. These statistics are extremely saddening, as they illustrate how societal standards have shaped the way men fail to care for themselves simply in pursuit of respect from other men. For both men and women, an overinvestment in male perception can lead to a decline in authenticity and living freely.
When I reflect on the men in my own life, I often find myself perplexed, trying to understand why male perspectives are so heavily idolized. History has undoubtedly played a major role in shaping this reality, but what stands out to me is the extent to which men will go to perform masculinity. I immediately think about the men who are deeply vocal about not wanting a gay son, as if a child’s sexuality is somehow a reflection of their own masculinity, and as if queerness itself were a shortcoming. This argument often seems less about the child and more about preserving one's own image of manhood. Many hyper-masculine fathers fear that if their sons are gay, then community members will judge their parenting, question their masculinity, or not believe in the legacy that their son can produce. Being that sexuality cannot be controlled, some may wonder why the thought of a gay son is so daunting to some men; however, societal expectations often lead hyper masculine men to care more about outside voices than the happiness of their own child. This approval-seeking creates a ripple effect where children don't feel comfortable coming to their fathers to discuss their emotional burdens, out of fear that they won't be present enough in the conversation. 74% of gay men report that coming out to their fathers is more challenging than that of their mothers, reiterating the idea that ingrained cultural expectations of masculinity hamper honest relationships between men of all ages (Gao).
Throughout history, men have been taught to uphold a restrictive model of masculinity while repudiating all things feminine. It's paramount that men unlearn these expectations as they place immense strains on their relationships, and limit emotional intimacy. The cultural fixation on the “alpha male” archetype has encouraged men to equate dominance to aggressiveness and arrogance. In reality, outside of male-dominated spaces, women seldom refer to men as “alphas” and truly value kindness, emotional intelligence, and altruism. Clearly, the act of trying to be an “alpha male” is a mechanism used to perform for other men, a way to avoid appearing submissive within a masculine hierarchy. Ultimately, men must recognize that their lives are far larger than the narrow scope of another man’s opinion. Prioritizing male-centered narratives confines men, holding them back from experiencing the peace, authenticity, and emotional health that come from living beyond performative masculinity.
Sincerely,
Zaliyah Emmanuel
Documentary Filmmaking, BA
Works Cited
Gao, George. “Most Americans now say learning their child is gay wouldn't upset them.” Pew Research Center, 29 June 2015, https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2015/06/29/most-americans-now-say-learning-their-child-is-gay-wouldnt-upset-them/. Accessed 25 February 2026.
Hutchinson, Jocelyn. “Androcentrism | Women's Studies and Feminism | Research Starters.” EBSCO, https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/women-s-studies-and-feminism/androcentrism. Accessed 24 February 2026.
Morin, Amy. “3 Ways Men Hurt Themselves by Acting Tough.” Psychology Today, 24 May 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201605/3-ways-men-hurt-themselves-acting-tough. Accessed 25 February 2026.